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My Life.

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My Life.

Yes I know. I did not told if I was married or not. I am. I am sorry that I have to disappoint all the beautiful woman’s out there who would like to know me better. However I would try to tell you all a little about my self and how I live.

 

I was born on a farm here in Australia, and I was working hard.....or was that "hardly working"?... Whatever! My father was never home, so my mother had to feed me until I was 35. She was always talking about that I should get a job and a wife who could take care of me when I grew old. How could a mother be so cold towards her only son? I am only asking for someone to hold the fork with food and put it in my mount? Is this too much to ask for your only son?

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Left.

This the last picture taken of my father before he disappear on my 12 year birthday.

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Left .

This is me just a few days before my 35 years birthday. My mother claim she did not see the color of my eyes after my 12 year birthday.

Anyway. She was a strong woman and very stubborn, so finally I had to leave my bellowed sofa, and find my own future with someone with a lot of money and patient to feed me as my hands was not suited for much physical work. I was not too smart aider, so to work in an office was not a good alternative. My savior was my father which I almost never had contact with after my 12 year birthday.

 

An early morning someone knocked on our door. Outside was a black dressed man looking like the judge that my father had contact with several times when he was home. My father told me that they were not exactly friends when I asked, but did not tell me anything more. Now this man in black was telling my mother that my father was dead and had left us a fortune in the bank.

 

I never forget the shine in my mother’s eyes when he told her this. All of a sudden she look 20 year younger. The man in black told her that he had suspicion that the money we got from my father was not legal earned, but that they did not had any proof. He told my mother that if she got any such suspicion, she should inform the law as soon as possible. My mother promise to keep them posted, but that she know that my father was an hard working man and never would have done something illegal. I look at her with surprise, but she gave me a look that could have killed the cat, which also came fast through my slow working brain, so I chose not to speak at all. This properly saved my life.

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Left.
This is the look my mother gave me when she told the man in black how hard my father was working all his life.

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Left.

This is my wife who grow up in the neighboring farm. The picture is from when she saw the pictures from my trip to Brazil.

Yes, my wife. She was my playmate the few times I was out of bad when grooving up. She was always a little strange and wanted to look at everything I had that she did not have, if you know what I mean. She always told me after I was 25 that I was the last man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She was very fast when she get angry at me, and gave me more than one blue eye during our grow uptime, but maybe it was because I was also interested in her attributes, and here my hands was like made for this mission. The only problem was that when she wanted service like this, she decided time and place.

 

After she hear about the money my father had left me, she was totally changed. She was like our cat, oh.. yes, our cat. I forgot to tell you about our cat. She has been with us since she was born, and is very strange when I come to close. She then bend her back and her claws is sticking out like an Lions claw, and the eyes shine and sticking out like my wife’s (See picture above). However when my wife is there she loose the devil look and crawling around her leg and making happy noises.

 

I believe she become like this after I have tried from she was small, to teach her to hang from the tail like a monkey I saw in TV one time. She never learned this in spite of my hard work to teach her (My Cat).

 

Back to my wife.

She told me she would take care of me and feed me like my mother did, and she gave me full freedom to play with her. It had to result in a disaster, and it did.

 

We got married.

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Left.

This is our cat when I came too close, but you should see her claws. Unfortunately if I came to close, most of the time they where buried in my flesh.

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Left .

Unbelievable, but this is the same cat when she is around my wife. Who could think a cat could change this much?

The rest of my story is short. After we got married, my wife change again to become my worst nightmare. She was much faster and stronger then me, and after our last fight where I wake up in the hospital 3 days later, I finally agreed to take a job. Since my strength allow me to lift a camera and take a few pictures, the choice was easy. I became a photographing journalist, and have since participated in reporting from war zones, since my knowledge of wars from home was a good experience. None of the wars going on around the world could come even close to the danger when my wife was pissed off.

 

Now I have had many jobs for my Boss, and the last one as you know was the one with the Granny competition.

 

The job could look peaceful from first look, but when my wife found my picture it turned nasty.

 

Today I have been accepted to go to Irak after 4 weeks in the hospital which I barely survived, and I beg my Boss to send me there.

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